Take all the wackiest clips from talk shows around the dial and wrap 'em up into a daily half-hour hooha on the E! Channel...and you've got Talk Soup. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry...it'll just plain make you feel good about all of humanity.
If you like seeing husbands admit to gay affairs, teens in gangs who "dis" their parents, transvestites doing horrible Joan Rivers impersonations, or overweight, blind strippers for Jesus...this is the show for you. If it's cheaters, liars, freaks, screamers, yellers, weirdos, wackos, and dodo heads all making fools of themselves on national TV you want, this is where you find it. I'm proud to have been a part of this tremendous, intellectual melting pot.
I'm even more thrilled to watch Chrissy...er...Suzanne Sommers say my name. She is the guest host this week, but John Henson will be back for the big hour-long weekend show, to get in his crack at this clip. They use a short segment from the Top Secret Recipes appearance on the Maury Povich Show. It's the part where he puts on the "big-eyes" blindfold and taste-tests a real Big Mac and a real phony Big Mac.
Suzanne introduces the clip by saying: "Attention junk-food addicts: Now, you too can create your own brand-name taste treats with regular household ingredients. Yes, you can. Todd Wilbur shows you how in his two books, Top Secret Recipes and the sequel More Top Secret Recipes. He's a clever guy, that Todd. Here he is now, testing out a bogus fast food burger on one Maury Povich."
They go to a clip where Maury puts on the goofy blindfold and then tastes each of the Big Macs...the real one, then the fake made from the recipe in the book (photo 1).
They come out of the clip just as Maury is saying he likes the homemade Big Mac better, and Suzanne is flanked by two guys giving her a taste test with exercise products (photo 2). She's wearing those glasses with the springy eyes falling out. She pretends to taste the first item, "That's a late model ThighMaster, circa 1989." Then she fakes a taste of the other one, "That's the ButtMaster, of course." Sirens go off as she says, "Oh, you tricked me."
You see, earlier in the show she promised not to plug her new ButtMaster on the show...in fact, not even mention it.
When the weekend comes around, John Henson is back, chipper and perky as ever. At the top of the show they tease with this tight shot below of Maury munching on a Big Mac. John says, "Jeepers creepers Maury. Where'd you get those peepers? Don't get into a staring contest with that masked stranger."
John introduces the same clip from the Maury Povich Show: "So Julia Child can teach you to cook like the great chefs of Europe...big whoop! It takes a real gourmand like Todd Wilbur to master the nuances of creating delicious, mouth-watering, cholesterol-laden fast food munchies. In this Maury Povich highlight, that's exactly what Todd does. Here he is showing off his imitation Big Mac...a snack that's almost like the original."
They show the clip from the Maury Povich Show and then come back to a blindfolded John Henson with a voice-over: "That Maury highlight inspired us to perform our own taste-test. Let's see if John can tell the difference between Grandma's Chicken Feet and an impostor."
John gnaws on some rubber chicken feet in a bucket, and then a rubber severed human foot (photo 7). "I don't know," he says. "They're both so tasty."
The voice-over responds, "Actually John, it's a trick question. The impostor you've been tasting is really the secret ingredient that goes into Grandma's Chicken Feet."
Cut to a black-and-white shot of Charlton Heston from the movie Soylent Green with superimposed lips yelling, "Grandma's Chicken Feet is people...IT'S PEOPLE!!!"
Then back to John, "Well, it's darn good eatin'...I can tell you that much." |
