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<< Back to Top Secret Recipes TV Appearances
Live! with Regis & Kathie Lee #2
November 1994 |
It's almost a year and half after the first appearance on this show. My second book, More Top Secret Recipes, will be out, and once again Live! With Regis & Kathie Lee invites me back to demonstrate more brand-name clones. Okay, twist my arm.
We plan to do the blindfolded taste-test again, but this time the selections are McDonald's Hamburger, Dunkin' Donuts, Snapple Iced Tea and York Peppermint Pattie. Now, for some reason, most of the time devoted to the book came at the top of the show, when Regis and Kathie Lee do their little "chat" segment. It seems the show was running long and my segments at the end had to be cut a bit short to make room for a 13-year-old, future Hobbit, Elijah Wood.
At the top of the show after Regis and Kathie Lee introduce me off to the side (I'm busy pretending to do important stuff on the kitchen set, stage right), and they talk about the book for awhile, they prepare to do a small taste test. Kathie Lee dons the blindfold. Regis tells her she is going to have to guess which is the real Oreo Cookie and which is the fake. Producer Michael "Gelman" Gelman is making suggestions from the sidelines, Regis is yelling back, "Gelman I can handle it here! Gelman's getting in here like I'm two years old!"
Regis hands Kathie Lee the first cookie, which happens to be the bogus Oreo. Kathie Lee immediately barks, "I already know it's the homemade version because I can feel it." She feels the top of the cookie, "There's no 'Oreo' there." Regis just rolls his eyes. She eats it anyway and says it's delicious. "Now I want to try the real thing."
"All right. I'm going to put it in your mouth," says Reege. Of course he picks up another homemade cookie and tries to fool her. Just before Regis puts the cookie in Kathie Lee's mouth you can hear Gelman say, "It really doesn't matter now."
Regis is in a huff. "Have you ever seen a segment just crash...and burn like this one?" Regis yells to the audience. "Gelman talked about this for a week in the meeting." He goes on about how it was all planned out, and gives Kathie Lee another cookie anyway. She immediately guesses it's the homemade version.
"She's right okay? There's no secret here," Regis says, holding up the book. "Hey Todd, you're canceled. Get outta here!" I wave goodbye and walk off-stage. I'm gone until Kathie Lee calls me back. The audience is laughing and applauding. Smooth -- it was not. But it was entertaining. Don't we just love to watch a segment on live TV get smoked?
Toward the end of the show it's time for the McTaste-test. We start with the McDonald's Hamburger -- you know the little hamburger that usually goes for about 59 cents. When Regis is blindfolded, Kathie Lee feeds him a burger. Already Regis tries to pull what Kathie Lee pulled earlier and makes an announcement, "That's the real one."
Without saying anything, Kathie Lee feeds him a bite of the next burger. Now Regis wants to change his vote. "No THAT'S the real one." Wrong. It WAS the first one. Regis is McFooled. And I'm McThrilled, since it's all we have time for in that McSegment.
We go to a break and come back to demonstrate how to make a cookie that tastes just like an Oreo. Thank God the crew is so super-efficient at this show. These union guys measure all of the ingredients out for me ahead of time and they made these little tags that go behind each ingredient so that you know exactly what it is and in what order it goes into the bowl. And don't ever try to move something yourself. Since it's a union deal, if you want a bowl moved to the other side of the counter you have to ask one of the stage hands to do it for you.
But thanks to the whole crew, the segment goes smoothly. And it's a good thing, since we're running out of time. I blaze through the segment, making Oreos in record time. Regis tastes one and likes it! All done. Quick...go to break.
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